Settle in for our little end-of-the-year wrap up…

First show of the year at Red Hills HT in Tallahassee (ps. it was FREEZING and hurricane force winds arrived the day after we set up.

This year, we started off with big plans to go to big shows and pretty much did that. Because we drive to most of our shows, we spent a lot of time on the road and we recently discovered Buc-ee’s. If you’ve never experienced it, Buc-ee’s is what would happen if Hobby Lobby, Cracker Barrel and the biggest gas station ever had a baby. They sell basically everything. Kitschy signage, tee shirts, deer food, bar-b-q sandwiches, pretty much any beverage you could dream of, and enough gas pumps for a small country.

People love Buc-ee’s. And I get it. But I find it overwhelming and a little depressing. There is just so. much. stuff. Now that I, too, am in the business of creating stuff, I’m always thinking about it. How much do I buy? Where does it come from? How can I avoid waste and still have ample inventory? How can I support other makers out there and not outsource to vendors in other countries? Striking a balance between offering things at competitive pricing and also offering high-quality, responsibly manufactured goods is a constant challenge.

I know many of you understand this and choose to support small businesses like mine (and thank you SO MUCH for that!). I also know there are infinite alternatives out there. I shop at some of those places, too so this is not about shaming anyone! We all have varying levels of expendable income and the truth is, sometimes we have to choose Amazon over Etsy. But every time you choose small over big, you are helping support someone in your community. Someone who shares your same passions and wants to continue to offer products that truly bring you joy.

A wonderful year of meeting new people, connecting with old friends and building the biz!

One of the things I love about attending shows is that I get to meet a lot of you. I get to hear your stories and it means so much to me. It’s such a good feeling to know that a pair of socks helps you feel confident when you run cross country. Or that you got a special shirt for your kiddo who can’t afford a pony but loves horses, or that one of my stickers reminds you to be brave even when you’re scared. Hearing those stories is really what this is all about for me.

There are so many moving parts when you’re running a business. At times it feels like burning the candle at both ends and still not getting where you want to go fast enough. It can be extremely exciting but also scary – and let’s not even talk about how the world at large can play into all of those big emotions.

But at the core of this business is an inextinguishable passion for horses, for storytelling and for making my tiny corner of the world just a little bit better for anyone who’s part of it. And that includes each and every one of you.

As this year comes to a close, it is with heartfelt gratitude that I thank you all for being amazing and wonderful human beings. For sharing yourselves and your stories with me and for being part of a community of people who inspire me and keep my passion for this business alive.

Cheers to another year in the books and here’s to looking forward to a wonderful 2023!

Pride Month is here!  And I’d like to give you my reason for recognizing this important event. I came out about 25 years ago and it was a very different time. Ellen was not a fixture on our televisions, AIDS was still something that was very much feared by the gay community and marriage equality was not even on the horizon. To keep a very long story short, it was not an easy time to navigate the waters of being gay. I’m so glad that things have changed over the past 25 years and that resources for people who are LGBTQIA are so much easier to access and, more importantly, that the stigma around being gay has lessened.

But I’ll be honest, I still feel nervous writing this and sharing it with you guys. I worry that you’ll judge me, not support my business, or think less of me. It still feels risky and, while no one is forcing me to share this with you—my friends and customers—it feels important for me because it’s the brave thing to do. And, if there is one thing I have learned though my time with horses, sometimes you have to show up, trust yourself and do the brave thing.

And why is this story important? Because we all need to be seen and we all need role models and people who inspire us to be our truest selves. Even at 45, I need reminders that it’s okay to be myself and that the world needs people like me here. That’s why diversity matters and it’s not just a box to check but a guiding principle for my business. If you can’t see yourself in the life you want to live, how do you ever fully blossom into who you are meant to be?

My wish is that everyone can see themselves in the world of horses. No matter your background, your gender, your race, your body type, your sexual orientation, you belong here. Horses don’t judge us, they accept us for all of the reasons that should inspire us to accept each other: are we kind, are we generous with our assumptions, are we clear about our boundaries, are our pockets full of cookies? Personally, I’ve found if you have cookies, most people are nice to you. Tell me I’m wrong.

So, this month (and always!), no matter who you are and who you love, we celebrate you. Being your truest self takes courage and that’s badass.

As always, thank you for taking time to read this and if you are struggling with your own identity issues, know that you are not alone and things will get better. If you need support, please don’t be afraid to ask for help and if you need mental health resources, I’ll include a list of links below.

Do you have story you’d like to share? Drop me a line and let me know!

 

Helpful LGBTQIA Resources:

The Trevor Project

The Trevor Project is the world’s largest suicide prevention and crisis intervention organization for LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and questioning) young people.

PFLAG

PFLAG was the first organization devoted to helping parents, families, and allies support LGBTQ+ people. Today, the organization supports a network of more than 400 local chapters found throughout the United States. Through their site, you can locate or even start a local chapter of the support organization.

LGBT National Help Center

The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) National Help Center, founded in 1996, is a non-profit, tax-exempt organization that provides vital peer-support, community connections and resource information to people with questions regarding sexual orientation and/or gender identity.

Trans Lifeline

Trans Lifeline is a service devoted to offering care and support to transgender people. It provides peer support from a place of experience since the organization is staffed by trans individuals.

It’s not exactly controversial to say gratitude is a good thing, right? Especially as the holidays really get rolling, we start seeing a whole lot of messages about how important it is to be thankful. To be grateful for what we have. To be sure to count our blessings. We hear it so often that the message can get a little eye-rolly. (Is that a word? Let’s make it a word.) It starts to sound a little like “you look prettier when you smile.” Yuck.

For me, gratitude is not just a good thing, it’s the thing. It’s the thing that quite literally keeps me going. Since I can’t be the only one who finds daily life a little overwhelming sometimes, I thought I’d share why practicing gratitude is so important to me. I hope it might help you, too.

Put simply, gratitude is important to me because it works. Gratitude works to keep my mind from getting on the hamster wheel, it helps me keep my psyche strong and it truly connects me spiritually to something greater than myself and whatever I’m feeling or experiencing in the moment.

For example, when I get scared riding (which I do more often than I’d care to admit) I literally say “thank you and I love you” — out loud — to Socorro. Look, I know this is cheesy. But it reminds me that being able to ride and to connect with this animal the way that I do is a great privilege. And that it’s something that lights me up inside. In some ways it would be easier to just freak out. (It takes less effort!) But this little practice of stopping and reminding myself of the blessing of being able to connect with my horse stops a freak out in its tracks. It keeps me focused and thankful.

Gratitude also works when I’m freaking out about my business, or the weather, or traffic or any number of things over which I have very little control. In those moments, I start listing — again out loud — all the things I’m thankful for. Sometimes I’ll write them down, too. I cannot stress enough how effective it is for putting the brakes on full-on panic. It gets my mind back to a better place.

I’ve shared with you previously about how a severe bout of childhood anxiety left me hospitalized. And how my horse Lovey was a huge part of my healing. I’ve accepted that anxiety will probably always be with me. And rather than denying anxious moments, I try to stop, listen to them and let them know I see them. Then, with gratitude, I send them on their way.

Like houseguests, negative emotions will stay as long as we give them space to feel comfortable. Gratitude helps me by stepping in, turning on the overhead lights, turning off the music, tidying up the dishes and sending a clear message: time to move on!

I think that about sums it up. The only thing I would do is expand it to say that gratitude functions like warmth: it doesn’t gloss over negative emotions but merely steps in to let them know they can move along now.

One final note: I’m grateful to you. For reading this, for being a part of my community, for being a customer or someone who follows me on social media. It’s really an honor to run a business I love and I’m grateful to all of you for being a part of it.

What about you? As we enter this season, what are you feeling grateful for? Drop me a line and let me know!

2021, what can I say? You sure were an interesting ride. You came out hot, with a lot of promise. But the truth is you just never really settled into all I had hoped for. If we’re being honest, 2021, you kind of wore me out. While I’m ready for 2022, I’m not getting the thrill and excitement I typically feel when facing down a new ride—er—year.

Anyone else feeling like this too?

One of the greatest lessons in riding is that you show up and ride what you have THAT DAY. Horses force us into the present moment better than any mindfulness app. They demand we show up to their reality. We may have all sorts of ideas and plans for our time with them but, ultimately, they will decide what’s on the agenda. What happened yesterday is done—for better or for worse. And what will happen is yet to unfold.

Riding horses is a constant reminder to be flexible, go with the flow and stay present with today’s challenges. What worked yesterday may not work today. And we always have to think creatively about how to get the task accomplished—whether that means trying something new, questioning ourselves, or getting uncomfortable.

Talk about a metaphor.

2021 taught me a few things in life and riding. Maybe you can take some of these with you as you ride into the new year.

More is not better, it’s just more.

When things are not going as planned, sometimes you have to take a step back. While the tendency (at least my tendency!) is just to press the gas and keep going forward, that’s not always the smartest plan. I don’t actually believe there are wrong decisions in life (aside from the obvious) but there are decisions that bring us closer to our goals. Decisions that get us there faster and with less suffering. I like those decisions. But I often don’t choose those decisions. Because I can be a little stubborn. So I’ll be working on that in 2022.

Don’t overthink it.

I’m a chronic ruminator. I waste valuable time caught up in the cycle of over-thinking, worrying and self-doubting. But sometimes people have to get out of their heads and into their gut. (It’s me — I’m “people.”) Sometimes we need to just go for it! Whether running cross country or your own business, you can’t control it all. At some point you have to trust yourself and your partner and take the leap!

Stay connected and balanced.

These times are challenging and there is no doubt about it. Staying connected to the things that bring you joy and make you come alive is so critical. Life is shorter than you think. The reason we’re here is to be with the people and animals we love and to make their lives just a little bit better. That’s what truly gives our lives meaning and fulfillment. I know I feel best when I’m partaking from that buffet versus bingeing on the buffet of grinding, burn-out and overwhelm (yuck).

So here we are, at the beginning of a fresh new year. However 2021 turned out for you, it’s over now. Before us, we have a new year full of hope and promise. I am grateful for the opportunity to start anew. To take the lessons from the past and apply them to the future. To spend more time doing the things I love with the people and horses I love. So cheers to a new start and more badassery in 2022!

PS: What are the big metaphors you get from riding? What have you learned from horses that you’ll take with you in the new year? Send me an email — I’d love to hear it!

It’s February so naturally love is on our minds here at Mare Goods HQ. The problem is, the love we celebrate in February is usually represented as romantic love. For us, it’s so much bigger than that. Sure, Valentine’s Day can be about our significant others. But it’s also about loving our friends, our families, our co-workers, our kids and – of course – our horses!

(I’m an unapologetic fan of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette series…but #theMareMare will always get my final rose)

This year, we wanted to find a way to show love to people who really need it. We know, we know: the pool of people who need love and support is ocean-sized right now.

When we heard about the tornadoes that devastated parts of Kentucky in December, we were heartbroken. All that loss and suffering. We knew we wanted to do something to support the people of Kentucky who’ve been so lovely to us over our many trips there for shows, expos and events over the years.

(Side note: if you’ve forgotten about those tornadoes, you’re not alone. There’s a lot to process these days!)

So we did what we do: made a thing!

We created this limited edition sticker for a couple of reasons.

We want you to show the badasses in your life how much you love them and we want you to celebrate your own badass self.

And we want to support the people of Kentucky – talk about some badasses! – as they rebuild from the kind of natural disaster that could happen to any of us.

When you buy a sticker for $8, all proceeds go to support The Kentucky Agriculture Relief Fund, a donation initiative managed by the Kentucky Farm Bureau Education Foundation. Donations will be used to support farmers and agribusinesses in the affected areas.

So this year, skip the oversized teddy bears, boxer shorts covered in huge hearts, and boxes of waxy chocolates. Share the love with a sticker!

There are so many little ways to make the world better. So many little kindnesses that lighten the weight a lot of us are feeling right now.

How are you celebrating love this month? We’d love to know – but please, keep it G-rated!

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