If you’ve been here awhile, you know I don’t shy away from talking about the struggles of owning a small business. I think it’s important to focus not just on the highlights and the wins of entrepreneurship, but to also share the real journey, the process. Because let me tell you, as with everything in life, you’ve got to learn to fall in love with the process in order to keep going. If you’re always focused on the destination, you miss out on the juicy, good stuff. You miss the falling down and getting back up again, the hard work and then the reward, the getting lost and then finding your way, and—maybe most importantly— the incredible people and animals that are alongside you while you travel.

With all that in mind, I’ve been looking back at 2022. Looking at it and thinking:

What the hell was that? 

For most of the year, my energy was all out of kilter. I was trying to push, grind and force my way forward. It was almost like I lost my connection to what got me started down this path in the first place. I finished up the year exhausted, with a hurt back and a defeated spirit.

This is not the way I want to live my life.

On a very fundamental level, I needed to change my mindset or close my business. I knew I didn’t want to close my business. So that meant I had to make some big changes. Not just in my business but in everything. My relationships, my riding, my own mental health…all of it. Because it’s all connected. There is no changing your energy and mindset without it influencing every part of your life.

So, around the end of the year, I made some big decisions about my business. I took
some of the pressure off myself to do things that were dragging me down. I decided to refocus on things that inspire me, that light me up – the stuff that really fuels this business. In other words, I took my happy ass to the spiritual chiropractor and got that shit back into alignment. 

It’s amazing how things change when we decide we’re ready.

One of the things I absolutely love about this business is when you, my customers, pop into my booth at a horse show, a tradeshow, or anywhere, and tell me that the designs make you smile. Or that you can feel the love and joy that went into creating them. That is so affirming for me because that’s how I feel about making them.

Not to get too woo-woo on you guys but that love and joy is what’s really at the heart of this business (pun intended). I truly love horses and I love creating things and sharing that love with my little piece of the world.

I love meeting other people who love horses and I love hearing how horses have transformed their lives. I believe these stories and this shared passion are what connect us to each other and give our lives meaning. I may have lost some of you by now—so if you’re still here—thanks for hanging in there with me while I woo out.

2023 is already a very different year. I feel it in my core. I’m really excited about what’s in front of me. (Spoiler alert, I have no clue exactly what it is but I’m ready for it!)

So just know this: whatever is going on in your life, you have the power to influence where you go next. 

You get to decide whether to fight the currents or go with the flow; to choose the
hard path or find a better way. Sometimes you gotta go down that hard path for a while before you realize there might be a better way—trust me! And, most importantly, there is no wrong answer. There is only experience to be had and lessons to learn and ALL of that makes you the kind of person that the world needs more of.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

Settle in for our little end-of-the-year wrap up…

This year, we started off with big plans to go to big shows and pretty much did that. Because we drive to most of our shows, we spent a lot of time on the road and we recently discovered Buc-ee’s. If you’ve never experienced it, Buc-ee’s is what would happen if Hobby Lobby, Cracker Barrel and the biggest gas station ever had a baby. They sell basically everything. Kitschy signage, tee shirts, deer food, bar-b-q sandwiches, pretty much any beverage you could dream of, and enough gas pumps for a small country.

People love Buc-ee’s. And I get it. But I find it overwhelming and a little depressing. There is just so. much. stuff. Now that I, too, am in the business of creating stuff, I’m always thinking about it. How much do I buy? Where does it come from? How can I avoid waste and still have ample inventory? How can I support other makers out there and not outsource to vendors in other countries? Striking a balance between offering things at competitive pricing and also offering high-quality, responsibly manufactured goods is a constant challenge.

I know many of you understand this and choose to support small businesses like mine (and thank you SO MUCH for that!). I also know there are infinite alternatives out there. I shop at some of those places, too so this is not about shaming anyone! We all have varying levels of expendable income and the truth is, sometimes we have to choose Amazon over Etsy. But every time you choose small over big, you are helping support someone in your community. Someone who shares your same passions and wants to continue to offer products that truly bring you joy.

One of the things I love about attending shows is that I get to meet a lot of you. I get to hear your stories and it means so much to me. It’s such a good feeling to know that a pair of socks helps you feel confident when you run cross country. Or that you got a special shirt for your kiddo who can’t afford a pony but loves horses, or that one of my stickers reminds you to be brave even when you’re scared. Hearing those stories is really what this is all about for me.

There are so many moving parts when you’re running a business. At times it feels like burning the candle at both ends and still not getting where you want to go fast enough. It can be extremely exciting but also scary – and let’s not even talk about how the world at large can play into all of those big emotions.

But at the core of this business is an inextinguishable passion for horses, for storytelling and for making my tiny corner of the world just a little bit better for anyone who’s part of it. And that includes each and every one of you.

As this year comes to a close, it is with heartfelt gratitude that I thank you all for being amazing and wonderful human beings. For sharing yourselves and your stories with me and for being part of a community of people who inspire me and keep my passion for this business alive.

Cheers to another year in the books and here’s to looking forward to a wonderful 2023!

Here’s something I don’t recommend: four hours of grueling chainsaw work. 

Yes, that’s something I decided to do recently. The truth is I find that sort of thing somewhat satisfying…that is, until I can’t stand up the next day. Given my love of running and riding horses, I’ve been really fortunate that I’ve never really had many major aches and pains over the years. But the chainsawing really did a number on me. It put me on the sidelines for a month or so. I’m not going to lie when I tell you that it set off a little bit of a panic. Being active and able to do the things I love is part of who I am. It’s how I self-identify. Pain that makes literally everything uncomfortable is a foreign experience for me.  

I’ve been reading a book called The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph by Ryan Holiday. The whole premise of the book is that difficulty and struggle is part of life. While we all know this on some level, it remains kind of abstract most of the time. But when trouble is at our own doorsteps, we tend to resist. When we hit that wall of resistance—in our bodies, in our businesses, in our training, in our minds and in our hearts – it seems we jump right to “Well, that’s it! This is the end of the line. I’m dead! Guess it’s just time to give up, throw in the towel and start over!” Rarely do we go with the idea that the struggle is just the beginning of the next level; that new level when the real work begins. Very few of us face resistance and think “Ok, well now is when I need to dig deep inside. I need to rediscover my strength, determination and commitment to what I’m seeking.” 

It’s not lost on me that The Chainsaw Episodel happened close to the 5-year anniversary of starting Mare. I like to be honest about my journey so I’ll just tell you: this has been the hardest year for me. I don’t know if it’s the after-effects of the pandemic, international financial woes looming on the horizon, or the political unrest and tension – not to mention all the regular old life things that happen every day. I’ve mulled all of it over. And honestly, none of the “reasons” really matter. There’s never a better or worse time to do anything. Because if we’re all being truly honest, none of us have any control over anything except how we choose to respond to our life experiences. Wait for the perfect time, and it may never come. There will always be reasons to hold off for another time. But as country singer Garth Brooks says—sort of—“(what) if tomorrow never comes?” 

Owning a business is like owning a horse. You’ve got to show up, be present, work really hard and then, at the end of the day, surrender the outcome. Day in and day out. When trouble arises and you hit a wall, you don’t quit, you just keep working at it. And you try not to do it with panic or frustration but with openness and curiosity, right? I don’t know about you but that’s literally the opposite of what I want to do in those moments. I want to freak out, imagine every possible worst case scenario and then make massive global changes without any logical strategy that may or may not work! Sometimes I want to freeze or run. Moving calmly forward—even in the face of uncertainty—is never my go-to behavior. My tendency is to be a spooky mare who intermittently bolts at really scary things. (Unsurprisingly, I’m a nightmare to coach as well. Just ask my trainer.) 

But here’s what I’m working on, in my personal life and in my business life: I’m learning how NOT to catastrophize (is that even a word?). Having a creative mind is a blessing and a curse. So I’m making conscious, intentional efforts to remind myself that bad months and short-term delays are not forever delays. They’re not a sign that the end is near. They are opportunities to dig in deeper, practice more patience and get more creative. Bad days are a reminder to be open to new ideas and to always keep going. (Well, unless you can’t get out of bed because you decided to wield a heavy chainsaw for four hours.)  

Here’s to keeping it moving! 

Pride Month is here!  And I’d like to give you my reason for recognizing this important event. I came out about 25 years ago and it was a very different time. Ellen was not a fixture on our televisions, AIDS was still something that was very much feared by the gay community and marriage equality was not even on the horizon. To keep a very long story short, it was not an easy time to navigate the waters of being gay. I’m so glad that things have changed over the past 25 years and that resources for people who are LGBTQIA are so much easier to access and, more importantly, that the stigma around being gay has lessened.

But I’ll be honest, I still feel nervous writing this and sharing it with you guys. I worry that you’ll judge me, not support my business, or think less of me. It still feels risky and, while no one is forcing me to share this with you—my friends and customers—it feels important for me because it’s the brave thing to do. And, if there is one thing I have learned though my time with horses, sometimes you have to show up, trust yourself and do the brave thing.

And why is this story important? Because we all need to be seen and we all need role models and people who inspire us to be our truest selves. Even at 45, I need reminders that it’s okay to be myself and that the world needs people like me here. That’s why diversity matters and it’s not just a box to check but a guiding principle for my business. If you can’t see yourself in the life you want to live, how do you ever fully blossom into who you are meant to be?

My wish is that everyone can see themselves in the world of horses. No matter your background, your gender, your race, your body type, your sexual orientation, you belong here. Horses don’t judge us, they accept us for all of the reasons that should inspire us to accept each other: are we kind, are we generous with our assumptions, are we clear about our boundaries, are our pockets full of cookies? Personally, I’ve found if you have cookies, most people are nice to you. Tell me I’m wrong.

So, this month (and always!), no matter who you are and who you love, we celebrate you. Being your truest self takes courage and that’s badass.

As always, thank you for taking time to read this and if you are struggling with your own identity issues, know that you are not alone and things will get better. If you need support, please don’t be afraid to ask for help and if you need mental health resources, I’ll include a list of links below.

Do you have story you’d like to share? Drop me a line and let me know!

Helpful LGBTQIA Resources:

The Trevor Project

The Trevor Project is the world’s largest suicide prevention and crisis intervention organization for LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and questioning) young people.

PFLAG

PFLAG was the first organization devoted to helping parents, families, and allies support LGBTQ+ people. Today, the organization supports a network of more than 400 local chapters found throughout the United States. Through their site, you can locate or even start a local chapter of the support organization.

LGBT National Help Center

The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) National Help Center, founded in 1996, is a non-profit, tax-exempt organization that provides vital peer-support, community connections and resource information to people with questions regarding sexual orientation and/or gender identity.

Trans Lifeline

Trans Lifeline is a service devoted to offering care and support to transgender people. It provides peer support from a place of experience since the organization is staffed by trans individuals.