Good horsemanship is about conversation. It’s about ease of communication between you and your horse. Listening. Learning how to communicate. Negotiating challenges together. Because the best relationships have a kind of rhythm: sometimes you lead, sometimes the horse leads. I believe the reason my relationship with my horse has flourished is because I’m learning how to understand and communicate with her. I’ve learned that what excites, scares and motivates her is very different from what excites, scares and motivates me. (Though we both respond to a jump scare in the exact same way.)
I don’t always get exactly what I want. And she would probably say the same thing but the door to conversation and compromise is always open. Which brings me to what I’ve been preoccupied with lately. These days, I’m finding it hard to focus on “regular life” given what’s happening in our country. The world feels very different right now. And if you’re thinking this is just the usual pendulum swing, the ordinary ebb and flow of politics, I’d encourage you to look a little closer. Our country has always been imperfect in many ways. But one of the things that made us proud as Americans is that we’ve always done our best to make room for each other. History tells us that both “sides” (whatever that means) may always be at least a little bit unhappy. But compromise with each other is what keeps us together as we form a, well, more perfect union. In the same way that healthy relationships require empathy, respect and the ability to navigate differences, so does a strong democracy. We are better humans when we work together, in compassion and compromise. Getting your way all the time makes you a tyrannical asshole. And no one wants to be in a relationship with tyrannical assholes. (At least, I hope not.)
So when things feel uncertain, I come back to a simple truth: No matter what’s going on in the world, the most important thing we can do is be a positive force for good. In our communities, in our neighborhoods and in the lives of the people we care about. Showing up for each other in small but meaningful ways matters. At the same time, we can’t afford to be passive observers of what’s happening around us. Part of showing up is speaking up. We can’t be afraid to protect the things that make America, for all its flaws, the model for democracy around the world. If you’re feeling the weight of things right now, find your people. Seek out reliable sources of information. Avoid the panic spiral of social media and the empty calories of memes. And most importantly? Take care of yourself. Make time for things that support your mental health.
For me, there is something deeply grounding about being with horses, being in nature and witnessing the quiet persistence of the natural world. Nature simply doesn’t care about what’s on our newsfeeds. And I find a certain comfort in the consistency of a squirrel’s pursuit for a nut, water’s will to find a way or the insistence of a blade of grass to pierce through the ground. Without fail, the sun demands to rise. So am I optimistic? Yes. But I also know the road ahead may be rough. You might want to grab mane – it could be a bumpy ride.