The other day I watched a TikTok video of someone cleaning their toilet. (I know, but stay with me!) She was cleaning with, like, a gazillion different products. She would show a bottle of cleaner, dispense it into the toilet, show another bottle, dispense the contents…and so on. I watched the whole 5-minute video, eagerly awaiting the big finale. What. Was. Going. To. Happen? I needed to know! Well, I’ll tell you what happened: nothing. I wasted 5 minutes of my one precious life waiting for a woman in a video to flush her clean toilet.
Wasting that kind of time made me reflect on something much more serious. Lately, I’ve had a lot of death around me. It’s partly just the season of life I’m in, but it certainly doesn’t make any of it easier. What it does is sharpen my focus on what truly matters and how fleeting our time is, here on Earth. We always think we have more time than we actually do. We always think there will be another opportunity to tell someone “I’m sorry,” “I love you,” “You mattered,” “I forgive you.
But let me share a little secret: sometimes life pulls the rug out from underneath you. And that opportunity you were waiting for? It disappears. There is not some big grand prize waiting for you when you hold back your love. Instead of a grand finale, it’s just a flush – like the toilet in the TikTok video. In fact, holding back and missing opportunities to share your heart can end up breaking your heart.
One of the more comforting things I see around me in the midst of loss and grief is that those people and animals we have lost truly do live on in our remembrance of them. When you deeply love someone, they become part of you. As survivors of loss, we have the distinct honor of carrying the memories of our loved ones. By telling our stories, their stories. By laughing and sometimes crying at what was shared together. By not letting them vanish. It’s why stories are so important to me and such a part of what I do.
This spring’s two collections are inspired by horses who have died. I didn’t even realize that until I was getting some things ready for the launches, and it just sort of happened. (Yeah, I know…totally f*cking weird.)
I promise I’m not sharing this to get everybody super sad. That’s what the nightly news is for. I’m sharing this to remind you to cherish your time, your animals, and your people. Don’t take a second for granted. I’m serious. Whatever you’re worrying about right now, it won’t matter one day. It might not even matter tomorrow. If you are lucky enough to be alive and on earth at this very moment, go outside, make time to ride your horse (or just hang out with them and stare at them adoringly), call your best friend, eat a f*cking cookie, do all of those things at the same time.
Just don’t waste your time here. Because life is like a brand new tube of toothpaste. When you first get that tube, you SLATHER your toothbrush with paste. If it falls on the floor, who cares! But as that tube gets smaller and smaller, we start to take more care. We’re not quite as sloppy. By the time we reach the very end, we’re contorting that tube with all our might. We know we’re getting the last of it and we’re grateful we can get a drop on our toothbrush. And I’m here to tell you that, unlike toothpaste, in the tube of life, there’s no going back to the drug store to get another one.
So take this as a gentle reminder to:
Live your f*cking life…fully.
Love your animals and people…fully.
Never cease to be in awe at how loving (or being loved by) someone or something can transform you.